One of the clearest – and often overlooked – factors behind this growing distance is the natural shift in generational roles. As children grow into adulthood, their psychological and emotional needs change, while their parents transition from being authority figures to becoming elders.
“Parents don’t realize that as their kids move from the adolescent phase of their life into the adult phase, the parents are also moving out of the adult phase into the elder phase. Different phases of life come with vastly different roles.”
Harris goes onto explain that elders are no longer the center of their children’s lives, especially when, as adults, they marry, start families, and focus on demanding careers.
Emotional baggage
Another significant reason adult children withdraw is the emotional residue left from childhood. Many carry deep scars from years of feeling misunderstood, unsupported, or emotionally neglected by their parents. While parents may remember doing their best, children may recall moments of criticism, invalidation, or conflict.
Dr. Jonice Webb, an expert in childhood neglect, explains that maintaining space becomes a form of survival for adults who need to protect their mental health from parents who failed to provide what was needed as a child.
“Giving yourself the emotional care you’ve lacked can help you feel better with [parents], as well as in your life,” Webb writes in Psychology Today. “It is quite a challenge to be raised by emotionally neglectful parents. And that challenge does not end simply because you grow up.”Continue reading…
